Its like no one cares... I try to do something, and all I get is yelled at... I wanted to go walking last night to the "Rocks"... but no... my dad was being mean, as always. I called David last night, and didn't talk because I couldn't, I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to die so bad last night. I cryed myself to sleep, then next thing I knew I was awake again, bc of dreams... I needed to talk to someone so bad, but I just couldn't... when I had awaken again, I was crying still. My eyes are so swollen from me crying. I look terrible from all the crying I did. No one will ever know what happened last night, and they won't know why I was so upset.

David, Im not gonna tell Nikki, its like this, if I told you I did that, then I wouldn't want you to tell her, so, even if ya were joking around by it still... Im not gonnna tell.

I now feel like Im in this world alone, like no one knows what Im going thru, but some people do, I know they do. Im not gonna be okay, I know Im not, it just isn't possible anymore, like Im now stuck in a world I created alone. I ruined my life, I screwed it up majorly, and it isn't gonna go back to the way it was. I just... wish I could go back to the "perfect" little girl my parents said I was.

Last night when we went to burger king, I got stuck in the playpin thingy ma bob. It was cool, but I was freezing.

One reason I cried last night, was because Im jelous, jelous of her... why is it like this? Rachel, you know who Im talking about, because I talked to you about it. She gets so much, and doesn't care for it. She doesn't even say a measlily(sp?) Thanks. I don't hate that someone, but I do, bc Im so jelous that she gets to live I life I wish I was living.. I know whats right for someone else, but she just doesn't care whats right for 'em.

Im never going back to church again. No one can make me. I have done so many things, that I need to die, and have a horrible life.  Everyone says Im going to hell, and I geuss, maybe I will.